Posted: 2026-03-11

Moist Gussets

You should check your gussets.

Because moist gussets can rust. Then you'll have rusty gussets. So you gotta grease your gussets. But if you don't have grease, you can use oily fish, resulting in fishy gussets. Leave those out in the sun and you'll have rancid gussets.

There is a legendary recording of this text using an AKG C414 XL II mic and a bottle of Biotene artificial saliva. I am withholding it from public dissemination in accordance with strategic arms limitation treaties. My psychologist ignored my warnings, listened to it, and said "OH MY GOD CLOSE YOUR MOUTH".

I am no longer welcome at the local BBQ joint. They used to sell "moist" branded T-shirts. I'm not sure if they still do.