Posted: 2026-01-25

🔗 Payment Implants

Pretty much the most obviously useful application of microchip implants is for payments. What's not to like — never needing a wallet again? Sign me the fuck up.

The chip itself is easy — implants capable of being hooked up to payment systems have been around for many years, and their track record for safety and reliability is outstanding. Installation is straightforward and can be done at a piercer.

The reason that this concept is so rare is actually much simpler: VISA, Mastercard and American Express just flat out decided that this will never happen under their watch. From a public-relations perspective it is absolutely radioactive with way too many groups, and only actually benefits an extremely niche micro-subculture.

You cannot hook a chip up to the AMV network without a private key registered to one of those companies, and those companies say no.

There is one company offering payment implants.

They have not been one hundred percent transparent about how they've pulled it off. My understanding is that this is some kind of narrow quirk of Polish law specifically, and can't be readily replicated in any other jurisdiction.

I had investigated whether it was possible to access this in Australia via Estonian E-Residency, but my leads basically turned up that you would have to stretch the banks' know-your-customer process extremely hard, and banks are not known for flexibility or mercy with people who push boundaries.

Dangerous Things used to have a service where they converted bank cards into biopolymer implants, but they've taken it off their site. It was a terrible idea anyway (not least due to the fact that bank cards expire).

So I guess that's it. No payment implants in Australia for the foreseeable future.

🔗 Checkin

Version: 1

Written: 2025-01-25

Written on: 7.5mg olanzapine since 2025-11-11

Mental health was: poor - estimate 25% brain